Demi Lovato's Dark Secret

It might be hard to believe that a sweet and innocent former Disney starlet could have such dark skeletons hiding in her closet, but the 21 year old songstress and X Factor judge, Demi Lovato, is exposing the hard truth in a candid interview with Access Hollywood's Kit Hoover. Although Lovato has previously discussed some of the dangers of the celebrity lifestyle, revealing that club promoters are known for offering whatever substance necessary to get stars, including her, in their doors, it wasn't until now that Lovato decided to reveal the full extent of her drug and alcohol abuse. 

Admittedly, Lovato was very good at manipulating people.  She had reached a point in her addiction where she was manipulating and hiding her drug use from everyone around her including her sober companion who was with her 24/7,  "Something I've never talked about before, but with my drug use I could hide it to where I would sneak drugs.  I couldn't really go without 30 minutes to an hour without cocaine and I would bring it on airplanes.  I would smuggle it basically and just wait until everyone in first class would go to sleep, and I would do it right there," reveals Lovato during her Access Hollywood interview. 

Lovato recalls her lowest point when she knew that she needed help,  "I was going to the airport and I had a Sprite bottle just filled with vodka, and it was just nine in the morning, and I was throwing up in the car, and this was just to get on a plane to go back to L.A. to the sober living house that I was staying at....I had all the help in the world, but I didn't want it.  When I hit that moment I was like, it's no longer fun when you're doing it alone."  Lovato's drug use wasn't her only dark secret.  She also suffered from a severe eating disorder, and she was cutting herself. 

When Lovato was 8 years old she began to compulsively eat.  This eventually led to starvation, which led to a combination of vomiting and starving herself.  It got to a point where Lovato was vomiting blood, and she knew that this was a life or death situation.  When Lovato was around 12 years old she began cutting herself.  She explains, "When you are feeling numb from depression, you just want to feel."  Lovato explained that there was almost a sense of empowerment because people didn't know what she was doing and she was able to get away with it. That is until Lovato's entire team and her parents got together for an intervention. Dianna, Lovato's mother, gave her the option to either go to treatment or she, and Lovato's little sister, Madison, would move back to Texas and Lovato would  no longer be allowed to see her.  In October of 2010 Lovato agreed to go to treatment. 

While Lovato was in treatment the doctors diagnosed her with Bi-Polar Disorder, which finally explained why Lovato had always felt moments of extreme highs, such as staying up all night to write 7 songs, and extreme lows, where she was so depressed but didn't know why.  

When Lovato got out of treatment she saw her mom, Dianna, struggling with her own eating disorder.  Lovato knew that she could not be around that behavior while she was in recovery, so she decided to hold an intervention for her mother to offer her the help that she needed as well.  Once her mom was in recovery, they became closer than ever - they got well as a family.  Lovato gushes about her mom saying, " I'm so...proud of her it makes me so happy...I love her so much." 

You can read more about Demi Lovato's journey and what has inspired her in her book Staying Strong: 365 Days A Year.  You can see the entire Access Hollywood interview HERE.